The day finally came, I’m just sitting at my computer working on a blog and my daughter walks into my bedroom. She has a pool cover-up on and she begins telling me that she prefers skirts “like this”, making her skirt more fitted. At first I didn’t think anything of it, until I asked her why. Like a typical child in elementary school she just casually tells me that she doesn’t want people making fun of her for twirling her dress.
I had a knee jerk reaction, and reflecting back I was probably more stern than I needed to be, but the adoptee inside took over. I remember those days, I remember never wanting to wear a skirt again and how much someone else’s opinion of me mattered more than my own. I knew that if I wasn’t adamant about this now, I know that I would regret it later.
I pulled her close, looked her in the eyes, and I told her that if she wanted to twirl in her dress, to do it. I reminded her than true friends are not going to make her feel bad about herself and that other people’s opinions didn’t matter. She nodded of course, I knew she wasn’t going to get it and that it would not be the first time I was going to have this conversation with her.
The adopee inside me was screaming to try and make her understand, that she doesn’t have to go around people pleasing others and turning herself into someone she isn’t. I didn’t want her to start sacrificing even the simplest of pleasures like twirling in a skirt just because someone else didn’t like it. I told her that it was okay, that there wasn’t anything wrong with what she was doing and that I even loved to twirl in a skirt, because seriously, what woman doesn’t? You’ve done it too, the best are when the skirts have a little bit of tulle under them, those twirl the best.
Hopefully I won this battle but I know that this is going to be an uphill battle for the both of us. With the adoptee inside me screaming to ensure she doesn’t lose herself in the crowd of other, that it’s okay to be noticed and seen. I know the war with going unseen, to prefer to be unseen is coming, I see it in her as much if not more than I do myself. Rest assured, I’m going to do everything that I can to let her know that it’s okay to be seen, to be who she is and to twirl in every single dress she wears.