I have debated weather or not to dive into the depths of this subject. If you are like me chances are that you have been called selfish on more than one occasion. Like me, from time to time you second guessed your decisions and motives wondering if you were in fact being selfish. There have been more than one instance where I have second guessed my decisions and motives.

It wasn’t until quite recently that I decided to really look into the difference between selfishness and self respect. There were some decisions that I made that appeared to be selfish in nature however that is not the case. Looking at the decision in question from several different angles led me to the conclusion that there is some part of it that was selfish in nature. I knew what consequences were bound to happen, however I continued with the decision nonetheless.

While the insults were being hurled in my direction, I decided to take a good hard look at the decision that I made. For years I have struggled with having a “us” or “we” mentality. My thoughts would always go to a collective thought verses an individual mindset, I would think about myself, my dreams and goals last and think about other people’s feelings first.

Selfless isn’t always a noble quality, by being selfless and not caring for ourselves we tend to be trampled on by people who are rightfully putting their feelings first. This has happened to me, I had always thought that setting my feelings aside and thinking about others first didn’t leave me the ability to respect myself or love myself enough to put my needs and goals first. Be doing so I was trampled on by others, I became agreeable and passive.

Once I began to love myself and see myself as an individual it was easy to start taking care of myself and putting my needs first. At first it was very weird, I was very uncomfortable because I kept second guessing myself and thought that I had become selfish. This however was not the case, the simple fact was that I had gained enough self-respect to be bold enough to chase my dreams.

While I know there will be times in my life that I will probably be selfish because like everyone else, I am not perfect, I also know that there is a difference between selfishness and self respect. It’s okay to put your own needs NOT wants first and it is okay to chase your dreams and to put your needs above the wants of others. Don’t forget that.

Always,

J